Let's take a look at Self-Confidence!

Self-confidence is being certain and trusting about yourself in regard to your actions.

Self-esteem is your overall belief in your value as an individual.

The two are thus closely related so it would follow that if you have a low self-esteem, you would also be lacking in self-confidence.


Maxwell Maltz in his book "Psycho-Cybernetics" says, and I quote: "To really 'live', that is to find life reasonably satisfying, you must have an adequate and realistic self image that you can live with. You must find your self acceptable to 'you'. You must have a wholesome self-esteem. You must have a self that you can trust and believe in. You must have a self that you are not ashamed to 'be', and one that you can feel free to express creatively, rather than to hide or cover up.

You must have a self that corresponds to reality so that you can function effectively in a real world. You must know yourself - both your strengths and your weaknesses and be honest with yourself concerning both. Your self image must be a reasonable approximation of 'you', being neither more than you are, nor less than you are.

When this self image is intact and secure, you feel 'good'. When it is threatened, you feel anxious and insecure. When it is adequate and one that you can be wholesomely proud of, you feel self-confident."

Many people struggle with a lack of self-confidence and it can seem impossible to overcome. Have you ever wondered how different your life could be if you had more self-confidence, or how much more you could achieve.

Catherine Pratt, of Life With Confidence has now written several books on the subject which I am happy to recommend - you can find out more about them at eBooks for Confidence.

Here are some simple steps you can take to improve your self-confidence and boost your self-esteem.

  • Always do what you believe to be right, even if others mock or criticize you for it.
  • Be willing to take risks and go the extra mile to achieve better things.
  • Don't be afraid to admit your mistakes - but be sure to learn from them.
  • Accept compliments graciously.

Your self-confidence will improve if you are feeling good and are happy about the way you look.


We all do it. Talk to ourselves. Sometimes we do it aloud and quite unconsciously, especially if we spend a lot of time by ourselves. We create thoughts to help us explain things to ourselves, and making comments to ourselves seems to be automatic.

However, are our thoughts helpful or unhelpful? We need to become aware of our thoughts to be sure that they are positive. Negative thoughts are of no help to anyone, so replace them with positive thoughts.

It is very easy to let your thoughts take control over you, but it should in fact, be you taking the control.

Practice thought stopping

Thought stopping is a popular behaviour modification technique for disrupting a pattern of negative or anxious thoughts. Many people have found thought stopping (either alone or in combination with deep breathing) to be a highly effective technique for reducing stress as well as obsessive "what-if" thinking.

Take a deep breath and then shout, "Stop!", "Stop it!" or "Get out!" (If there are other people around, you might want to do this silently or just visualize a huge STOP sign.) Repeat several times if necessary.

Here are a few "Life Hints" that I feel are very appropriate in helping you to build your self-confidence.

"Life Hints for Self-Confidence"
  • Relax - be happy to make more mistakes.
  • Take few things seriously - laugh more and cry less.
  • Have only actual troubles - not imaginary ones.
  • Be concerned - but not anxious.
  • Feel sad when you have to - but not depressed.
  • Live sensibly - but not cautiously.
  • Believe in miracles - but don't depend on them.
  • Spend your time creating - not criticising.
  • Worry less about what others think of you - accept yourself as you are.
  • Spend your life lifting people up - not putting people down.
  • Be happy with what you have - whilst working for what you want.
  • Don't waste time waiting for inspiration - begin, and inspiration will find you.
  • Earn your success based on service to others - not at the expense of others.

"Uncover The Secrets That Link Your Mind, Body And Soul, Creating Ultimate Health & Happiness"

  1. Affirmations
  2. Affirmations are simply positive things that you say out loud to yourself every day. This can be very difficult at times because you may not actually believe what you are saying. SO why would you say something to yourself that you don’t believe? Increased self esteem has to start with you. So, if you are shy and intimidated by people, start to say something like the following:

    "I LOVE meeting people, I am very interested in people and I am VERY confident when I am around people."

    Repeat this to yourself out loud at least 10 times before you leave your room. When you say this, don’t just mumble it, say it as many times as necessary until you say it with passion and conviction.

    Make up your own affirmations to suit yourself and your fears. Just remember to always speak only in the affirmative - don't use negatives.

    The Law of Attraction says that you will attract into your life whatever you give your attention, energy and focus to, whether negative or positive.

    Avoid using the negatives "don't", "not" and "no" - just talk about what you "do" want, not what you "don't" want, and say it as if you already "have" it or "are there".

  3. Read to grow.
  4. Again, increased self esteem starts with you. Read something everyday for at least 30 minutes that will help you increase your self esteem. This could be an article, a book, or you might prefer to listen to an audio series. The more you learn the more you will grow. The more you grow, the more your self esteem will improve.

    There are some really great self development books and audios available. I've always really enjoyed reading and listening to Jim Rohn. One of Jim's quotes which sums up what I've been trying to say here is:
    "You can't change people, but you can change yourself."

    SelfGrowth.com gives a complete guide to information about Self Improvement, Personal Growth and Self Help on the Internet. It is designed to be an organised directory, with articles and references to thousands of other Web Sites on the World Wide Web.... click the link to find out more.

  5. Take some action everyday.
  6. Do something every day, starting with something small, that directly deals with your low self esteem. For instance, if you feel insecure, shy and inferior, and don't like meeting people just start by putting a smile on your face. Make it a habit to smile at people, when you are out and about, and just say 'Hi', 'Hello' or 'How are You'.

    Remember, other people probably feel just like you do, so if you think about them instead of how you feel, you'll find it's quite easy to be friendly and start chatting. You'll get more comfortable with this as you go along and in no time at all you'll find you're feeling quite positive, confident, and at ease with yourself.

    Let me know your greatest fear or what it is that's holding you back.

  7. Stop the negative thoughts.
  8. I can't stress this enough. Negative thoughts are like land mines. We all have so many of them that keep coming to the surface. As soon as you step out to face your fear, a negative thought comes and tells you that you can’t do it and BOOM; you believe it and lose that round.

    Sometimes, the negative thoughts are so ingrained in us that we don't realise that they are dominating our thought pattern. Find a way to identify and diffuse those negative thoughts before they have a chance to do damage.

    One way to do this is to put a rubber band around your wrist, and every time a thought comes into your head that tells you that you will never succeed, you are a loser, or you can't do that, just SNAP the rubber band on your wrist. You'll soon realise just how many negative thoughts you are having and you can make a conscious decision to change them to positive thoughts.

    These four steps will help increase your self-confidence and self-esteem so that you become the person you really want to be. Just remember this: you are not going to change overnight. It will take time but as long as you are progressing, you are winning the battle.

You can find out more about affirmations by clicking self-confidence and learn how to focus on abundance and encourage the positives.

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